Star Wars Meets Final Fantasy
by Assblaster
Summary: One Shot the story of one of the missions Anakin and ObiWan were sent on.


**Star Wars Meets Final Fantasy**

**Chapter 1**

Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi were currently in the High Council room, receiving their next mission from Master Yoda.

"Find the ultimate question you must," Yoda said to Anakin and Obi-Wan, who were trying very hard to listen, but couldn't understand him.

Anakin turned to his master and asked with his hand to his mouth, "Do you know what he just said?"

"I don't know. I think he said something about a question? If it's a mission, it must be important!" Obi-Wan guessed with his hand in front of his mouth as well.

While Anakin and Obi-Wan were talking to themselves, Yoda looked at them with a glare. He could overhear every word they said, and he was not happy about it.

"THE ULTIMATE QUESTION, NIMRODS!" Yoda screamed at them.

Anakin and Obi-Wan just stared at him in complete horror.

"Get moving," Yoda commanded, suddenly forgetting his habit of twisting sentences into a really annoying Shakespeare like language.

"Yes, Master," Anakin and Obi-Wan said simultaneously and took off.

"Do you think that this question has something to do with politics?" Obi-Wan asked, as they walked through the halls of the senate building. Why they were there they did not know.

"Maybe, politics have always been confusing for him," Anakin replied.

"Maybe we should bring along some help then."

"What are you talking about?"

"I am talking about Padme, and you know it perfectly well. Don't think I don't know about your secret love affair!" Obi-Wan faked yelling at Anakin, knowing that he would never do something so wrong.

"How did you know?" Anakin's face went beet red for a minute, as he wondered.

"Wait! You really are having an affair! I was just joking!" Anakin's face went from red to sickly green, due to the news he had accidentally let slip.

Awhile later, Anakin and Obi-Wan were standing in front of Padme's room. Obi-Wan knocked on the door, and Padme answered in a huge outfit, which looked like it was twice her size, as usual.

"Oh, hello Masters. How can I help you?" Padme greeted trying very hard to look innocent.

"Cut it out. Your hubby spilled the beans," Obi-Wan mentioned quickly, "Yoda has assigned us with another dumb mission. Something about finding an answer and since we stink at the technical stuff, we thought that you might like to help out."

Padme gave Anakin a look that said _I ought to kill you _then turned to Obi-Wan and said, "I would love to help you."

"Great, let's get going now, so that we can get there early. I will meet you at the ship."

Anakin and Padme went to go pack their luggage, while Obi-Wan went back to his room to get his bag.

Meanwhile in Spira, a lone lawnmower scuttled across the landscape, bumping over small rocks and obstacles in its way.

"Are we there yet?" questioned one of the awkward vehicles occupants. (A.N: Yes, these idiots are driving a lawnmower.)

"NO," shouted the only other person, or should it be, Tonberry, the exquisite chef, accompanying the former occupant. "And we won't be, EVER." Tonberry glanced outwardly towards the horizon and sighed. His cactus like companion also sighed and poked him in the back.

"How about now, Tonberry?"

"Cactuar, shut up," the chef retorted.

Suddenly, a small menu appeared above Tonberry's head and from it he selected the heading 'black magic'. A new dropdown list appeared with multiple fire elemental spells. Among the list was Firaga, the most fearsome spell of all the fire castings. The pointer hovered over Firaga for a moment, dangerously close to selecting it.

Suddenly, a whooshing sound came, followed by a loud crash as Tonberry was swept off the lawnmower to crash into a tree as a space ship landed on top of him, obliterating the tree.

The space ship door slid open, revealing two characters dressed in robe like coats and carrying small metal cylinders we understand to be light saber handles and one lady dressed in over-overbearing robes.

"I told you to read the shuttle manual, but nooo, you just had to skip the chapter on landing," Obi-Wan said, looking rather sarcastic.

"Well, I told you that I have A.D.D, but noo you had to buy a stick shift instead of an automatic. You know I don't drive stick!" retorted Anakin.

"I don't see what that has to do with reading the manual. All you had to do was sit in a quiet space, but instead all you cared about was your nightly activities," Obi wan said while looking at Padme disapprovingly.

Suddenly, Anakin jumped in from of Obi-wan and drew his light saber. "Look out master. There's a hideous cactus creature about to attack." Abruptly a cynical laughter could be heard from under the ship.

"Cactuar attack? He's about as harmless as a baby chocobo, unless of course you're a TV, which he breaks on a daily basis" said the voice that was emitting endless laughter.

Padme jumped down from the ships ramp and looked under the ship. There, with a large bump on his head was Tonberry, being crushed under the ramp.

"Um, guys. I think we might have hit something," Padme said, not sure whether she should be worried or scared of the little critter.

Obi-Wan, was curious as to what they landed on, and followed Padme and looked, too.

"Oh, holy force! What is that?"

"Whatever it is, I think Anakin killed it!" Padme exclaimed, while giving him the evil eye.

"No, I don't think so. That really scary noise is still coming from it."

Anakin had finally gotten down from the ramp and took a look at Tonberry, "Obi-Wan, I think that noise is laughter, and it wouldn't kill you every once in a while, you know."

Cactuar, who had just approached the ship, receiving a look of suspicion from Padme, suddenly began laughing hysterically.

"HA HAHAhahahahahahahahahaha," he said to Tonberry, "you have a bump on your head!"

A while later Anakin, Obi-Wan and Padme had introduced themselves to Cactuar and Tonberry. They had also used Anakin's skills of the force to lift the ship off of Tonberry and save him. They ended up having to save Cactuar from the wrath of Tonberry, as well. So now, here they are walking into town. (Padme had refused to ride a silly lawnmower into town. Plus, I don't think that they would all fit on it.)

"They have got to be insane!" Tonberry whispered to Cactuar after Obi-Wan had finished explaining their dilemma.

"No, it is true! Our insane old master, Yoda wants to find out the ultimate question and what the answer is to it," Anakin gesticulated to them, "It could help us to save our home from something bad that will happen in the future!"

All of a sudden, a creepy tune came out of thin air (The Darth Vader theme music). Everyone looked at each other with fright in their eyes.

"Okay, so what you're saying is that if we help you, not only are we helping your world, but the whole galaxy from this impending doom," Tonberry restated.

Darth Vader theme starts up again.

"Okay, that is starting to get creepy!" Padme yelled at the sky.

When our heroes finally got to the town, it was completely destroyed. And in the middle of the destruction, they found two people fighting about what sounded like one of them learning to keep their anger in check.

"Finally," Anakin exclaimed with relief, "I'm not the only one!"

Padme gave him a glare that said 'what are you talking about', while she looked at him suspiciously.

"Nothing! Never mind that," Anakin said shyly.

"For the love of Sin!" The dark figure screamed at his sidekick.

The one figure that was yelling had a dark blue robe on and a wizard hat. His face was completely black with only his bright, mysterious eyes visible. His companion was sporting an orange, warrior's uniform with a sword hanging from his belt. His red hair was spiking out at every direction, indicating that he hadn't bathed in quite awhile.

"You just had to push me! Didn't you, Fighter?" The dark and mysterious figure screamed.

"Well, Black Mage, it's not my fault that you need anger management!" Fighter retorted in a less aggressive tone.

Cactuar walked up to the duo and cleared his throat. The two companions turned to him and Black Mage gave Cactuar a glare.

"Um, we were wondering if you might know what happened to this town." Cactuar asked shyly.

"It was his entire fault. He destroyed it!" Fighter accused Black Mage.

"Fighter! I'm sorry, but as you can see the town is no longer here. It was destroyed in a natural disaster."

"But, Mage you used your fire spells6 to…"

"FIGHTER! SHUT UP!"

"Do you know which way the forest is?" Obi-Wan asked Mage.

"Yeah, it's right there," Mage said pointing to a creepy looking forest.

Awhile later, they were looking up at the creepy forest, as they stood five feet from it. Everyone looked at the forest, while debating in their heads if they should go in or not.

Suddenly, Anakin stepped forward and said, "Well, let's get going!"

"Wait a minute! You're actually going in there! You're idiots!" Black Mage screamed.

"We have to. It's our mission!" Obi-Wan exclaimed.

"You'll never make it through, if you don't know the way!" Fighter exclaimed, "You need our help! We know the forest by heart!"  
"Fighter! We are not helping them. They could die in there!" Black Mage yelled at Fighter. The truth was that he just didn't want to go in there because he was scared. But he wouldn't say that out loud because it would destroy his reputation.

However, when Black Mage looked up, he saw that everyone was already walking into the creepy forest.

'We're all going to die,' he thought to himself, before running in after them.

They were walking through the forest, with Anakin leading and Fighter and Black Mage in the back. The trees were shoved close together and the branches and leaves seemed to reach up for miles. The top-most leaves blocked out all sunlight, but even then, the atmosphere was hot and damp. The ground they walked on made a squishing sound every time they took a step and the brush moved as though something would jump out at them.

"I feel a disturbance in the force," Obi-Wan said, watching the bushes cautiously.

"It's probably just your indigestion," Anakin reminded him.

Suddenly, one bush they passed by, moved its branches more than the rest were and something jumped out at them.

"Ah-ha," the dark figure bellowed, while sticking a sharp object at them, "Hand over all your gil!"

"Ahhhh," Anakin screamed and ran to hide behind Obi-Wan, who glared at him.

"What the heck is that think!" Padme screamed, while, also trying to hide behind Obi-Wan, but since he wasn't fat, there wasn't enough room.

"I am the reason no-one travels this forest. I attack all who trespass in my domain. I am the Thief!" With that last sentence a random light went on and illuminated his body.

He was a short little elf guy. He had brown hair that was sneaking out from his green elf hat. And a green warrior's uniform. The sharp object that he was pointing at them was a sword with a brown hilt.

"Right," said Tonberry, "You're the reason that people don't come in here. All this time, I thought it was just because the forest was too creepy."

"Don't mock me! At least my head doesn't look like a coconut!" The Thief laughed at Tonberry.

"What did you say?" Tonberry growled menacingly, while a vein popped on his forehead, "No-one makes fun of my head!"

With that Tonberry threw his hands over his head and screamed, "Haaaa-Doooo-Keeen!" A huge blue ball of energy started to gather in his hands and grew larger and larger, until it was three times the size of his body. Slowly, he brought his hands down over his head, in front of him, and threw his hands forward. The huge blue ball of energy blasted forward towards Thief, leaving a bright blue trail behind it. With a blinding flash and a deafening crash, the blue ball of energy erupted as it crashed into Thief.

After a few long minutes the air, finally cleared of all the dust and debris the attack created. A huge black hole was in the ground. It was at least, 12 yards across and 20 yards deep.

"Oh, boy," Tonberry heard behind him.

He looked up and saw that the entire forest was blown away except for the very outskirts of it.

"What did you do?" Black Mage screamed.

"I think you over did it a bit," Fighter said.

"Hahahahahahahahaha!" Cactuar was laughing behind them. Apparently, he hadn't noticed what happened to the rest of the forest. "Look at that!" Cactuar pointed into the hole.

Everyone stuck their head over the edge and saw a black thing at the bottom of it. It was Thief and he was completely burnt and had a bald head.

"You got to teach me that!" Anakin exclaimed as he looked at Thief in wonder.

Our heroes were finally at the other edge of the forest. They walked through the last of the trees and found themselves on a beach that stretched for at least ten miles in each direction. The sea seemed to stretch out forever and the sun glared down, making the temperature very high.

"Water!" Obi-Wan ran for the ocean and dived into the water. He opened his mouth wide and took in a deep gulp of the salty water and winced. He sprayed the water out of his mouth. "What the heck is this?"

While everyone stared at Obi-Wan, Anakin noticed that there was a cave about a mile down the beach, where the rock formations began.

"Hey, I think I just found our destination, master."

"All right, let's get this over with. I want to get back home."

"Oh, come on. Can't we just take a break? We've been walking for half a day!" Padme complained.

"But, we have to get the answer. This is a mission, there are no breaks!" Anakin and the others started walking towards the cave.

"Oh, he so will be wishing he didn't say that, later," Padme said under her breath.

"This is really creepy," Padme is really good at complaining.

They had entered the cave awhile back and no-one was enjoying it. The air was about twenty degrees colder in here than outside and you couldn't even see your own feet. The only source of light was the two lightsabers that Obi-Wan and Anakin had ignited at the front of the group.

Suddenly, a rustle was heard in the darkness ahead and screeches were coming their way. A swarm of black, bird-like creatures flew past them in a hurry to get outside.

"Oh god! Get them off of me!" Obi-Wan was jumping up and down, trying to get the non-existent creatures out of his robes.

"Master, you're afraid of bats?" Anakin looked at Obi-Wan is disappointment, "Not even Padme freaked out that bad!"

At that statement, Padme mustered up all of her strength and slammed her fist into Anakin's temple, knocking him out.

After Obi-Wan was calm from his scare, the group continued on without Anakin.

The small group of heroes, except Anakin, arrived at a large room inside of the rock. It seemed to go up for miles and at the top was a giant chandelier that had cob-webs all over it and strange bugs. On the other side of the room were three stairs that led up to a throne-like chair. Sitting on the chair was a skeleton dressed as a king and it seemed to still be rotting away.

"That's so nasty!" Padme exclaimed.

"Oh, it's not that bad," Fighter comforted her as he walked up to the rotting corpse. He extended one finger towards it and was about to touch the forehead, when it slowly started to slump forward.

"Ahhhhh!" Fighter screamed running towards the others as the corpse fell on him. However, he dragged it half way across the room before it let go of him.

Fighter was hiding behind Black Mage, when the corpse started to move.

"Oh, dear Sin! Is it alive," Tonberry asked rhetorically.

"Who dares to interrupt my slumber?" The corpse asked in a deep baritone voice.

Everyone backed away, leaving Obi-Wan to answer the monstrosity.

"Umm….Uhhh…I do?" Obi-Wan winced.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT?" The corpse screamed at him.

"I….I …waa...want to know www…what the ultimate question is?" Obi-Wan asked timidly.

"Yes, I do, as a matter of fact," The corpse said knowingly. Then in a huge booming voice he announced, "The ultimate question is….What is our purpose for living?"

"What?" Obi-Wan exclaimed loosing all sense of fear, "That's it? I could answer that anytime; to save the galaxy from evil of course!"

"No, that is just your purpose. The ultimate question refers to all life forms! Now leave before I decide that I will eat you alive and strip all the meat off your bones!"

The corpse turned around to rest again, but a voice interrupted him.

"Now wait a minute! You told us what the question is but what is the answer?" Obi-Wan questioned him.

"I said leave!" The corpse raised an arm menacingly and in one strong stroke, Obi-Wan was flattened against the other side of the hall.

"Black Mage, use your mighty attack!" Fighter urged.

"Yeah, Mage! Do it!"

"Great," Mage muttered to himself, "I have some bad news. I can only use that attack once. It uses all of my magic energy!"

"What so you mean that we're all dead!" Padme screamed and started strangling Black Mage.

As Black Mage was trying to get free, the corpse was coming directly at them, getting ready to attack the group.

However, before it could get to them, its eyes suddenly turned glossy and it fell down right before them. Standing on top of it was Anakin. He saved their life!

"You saved our lives," Cactuar mimicked the author as he got down on his hands and knees, bowing to Anakin.

Anakin seemed to be enjoying the praise, but Obi-Wan limped his way over and rested his hand on Anakin's back, "Very good, Anakin, but don't get carried away," Obi-Wan glared at Anakin and squeezed his shoulder.

"That's great! Can we get out of here now?" Tonberry yelled.

"Yeah! I'm starting to get creeped out!" Cactuar replied.

Everyone stared at Cactuar as if he was unaware of what had just occurred.

"Oh, come on! This is pretty standard stuff for us, Tonberry!" Tonberry just agreed with him.

Once they were all outside, Padme let out a deep sigh, "Oh, this is annoying."

"What's annoying, honey?" Anakin asked getting a glare from Obi-Wan.

"Now we have to make another long journey just to get back to the ship!"

"Why that's preposterous!" Obi-Wan declared.

He pulled out a small hand-held device and pressed a button on it. In a matter of seconds their ship sailed through the air towards them and landed slowly on the ground.

Padme's mouth hung open in astonishment and suddenly turned into a face of pure anger. "You mean to tell me that we walked for several miles, when we could have just landed here?" Padme flailed her arms through the air, coming dangerously close to Anakin.

"You know, Master, she is right. We didn't have to!"

"But, it wouldn't be as much fun then right?"

"Master! This trip was far from fun! I didn't get to kill anything! These little people handled that!" Anakin screamed as he walked onto the ship, forgetting to say goodbye to Tonberry, Cactuar, Fighter, and Black Mage.

"Goodbye good people! You have been a great help!" Obi-Wan gave adieu.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, just get off of our planet now!" Tonberry said, now in a very bad mood.

Anakin and Obi-Wan's ship took off and Tonberry, Fighter, Cactuar and Black Mage stood watching it. Tonberry looked on in fear remembering how it had landed on him before.

"I want one of those," said Fighter as he and Black Mage watched the ship disappear into space.


End file.
